if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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