god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
