You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
