Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
