just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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