your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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