Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize