even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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