My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
