She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
