Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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