i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
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My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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