Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
