I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
