I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
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