Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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