you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
