So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
