I can text with my tongue
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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