Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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