My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
