why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
