hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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