I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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