id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
