I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
