Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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