In America we eat man semen.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
