if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
