Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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