Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I had to cum in my sink.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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