Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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