I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
