Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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