Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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