if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
