I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
should my penis look like a turkey
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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