i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
