3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
