We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
