the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
