is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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