This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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