Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
