508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
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I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
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Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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