That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
