what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I cockslap morals
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Please, let me fuck your mom
