So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
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I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
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I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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