I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Send us your Text From Last Night!
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!