So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
