She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
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I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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