that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Send us your Text From Last Night!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time