Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.