Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.