is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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