Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
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she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.