i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
what day is it and did you see me today?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius